You can’t get a decent sausage roll in this country.  Seriously.

Today in town, I ordered a sausage roll which looked seductively like a sausage roll.

High quality offal infused sausage mince wrapped in a tantalizing layer of exceptionally healthy puff pastry.  Warm honey colour, laid out in the bae marie.  Calling to me.

This particular one looked just the solution to my screeching empty stomach.

So I ordered it.  I didn’t order anything else.  I didn’t order the runny watered down sauce.

And I most certainly did not order the bacon that appears to have wound its slimy, grizzly body around my healthy sausage mince inners.

Such a disappointment.

Once when I was in Nelson, I took the plunge and had a pie.

They sell them here at McDonalds. It is quite bizarre. When the nice young man behind the counter said it won’t be heated, I willingly agreed to take it anyway.  I was in a bad place at the time.

Absolutely, necessary, comfort food.

I took it back to the 2 star hotel I happened to be staying at and with much anticipation opened the bag.

What a disappointment.

In the mother land, heated means, well, reheated.  After cooking.  Not a raw uncooked pie.

I was so looking forward to that pie.

I should have just stuck with my usual comfort food.

1 bar of Cadbury chocolate (large), 1 bag of Starbust Babies and 1 bag of Allens Party Lollies.

Consumed within 30 minutes. Inhaled actually.

Only my inner circle can appreciate the truth in that statement.