Ok I was over reacting with my last blog and my reaction to the cabbie asking if I had retired yet. 

I have sat in two airports and two planes for the last 24 hours and revisited the thought of plastic surgery. Perhaps I won’t.

Yet.

So, goodbye US and A.

It’s been a blast.

Gone so fast.

I won’t miss your big plates of food.

Naturally, as is my way, having to have the last say, I couldn’t go without sharing some of my thoughts with y’all.

On the whole, Americans are polite, considerate, kind AND they give way to pedestrians, often stopping in the middle of the road to let you run across where you shouldn’t.  Although maybe that kindness didn’t extend to the crazy old man in the line in front of me at the Boston Bruins game. Who kept yelling out that I was pushing him. And the cow of a woman behind me who told everyone I cut in. Which I didn’t on either count. 

School buses are all yellow. In Canada too. You can’t make a mistake, there are no excuses for not stopping when they do. Which is the law. 

Toilet doors in Rest Stops often have big gaps between the door frame and the door, which let me assure you, is not pretty when you have nowhere to stand but right there in front of the gap. And yes you might try and avert your eyes but sometimes it’s sort of fascinating. Or not. 

The interstates are awesome (with those amazing rest stops) but no one sticks to the speed limit, even if it’s 80mph which is about 128kph. 

Speed signs have a maximum mph but underneath there is a minimum mph. They should bring that into some Australian cities.  I won’t mention names here, we from the Rat know who they are.  

There are toll booths, manned with actual people on the turnpikes (a turnpike is essentially a toll road). That’s right, people. You have to hand over cash. To a real person. 

I didn’t see any red light or speed cameras. Anywhere. 

In both the USA and Canada, you can turn right on a red light after stopping and looking, preferably to your left. 

There are a lot of three wheeler trikes here. They are upmarket motorbikes, comfortable and super cool. I could see me on a trike riding across the States. 

I can seamlessly move into driving on the wrong side of the road, getting into the drivers seat, using the controls on the wrong side, but every single time I drive, I reach for the seatbelt over my right shoulder. And every time I sit in the passenger seat I try and look behind me in my rear vision mirror. Which of course is directed at the driver. 

I took exactly the right amount of clothes.

Packing cubes are the best things since sliced wholemeal and soy lattes. 

Light switches are upside down and yet the hot and cold taps are the same. Very interesting. 

The showers in nearly all the places we visited are over the bath and have actual shower curtains. 

In all my toilet stops, of which, let me assure you there were many, I only saw one single/full flush toilet. 

In all of the toilet stops attached to eateries there was always a sign ‘Employees must wash hands before returning to work’. Ummmmmm

There are some coffee shops in the USA who are enlightened with soy milk (Starbucks, Pete’s Coffee and Tim Horton) but usually the only enlightening is almond milk. Gross. 

MOD has always said you can get any kind of coffee you want in the US and A. Black or white or with cream. 

Tea isn’t a thing but when it is, they have Lipton teabags! Yay! Of course most people don’t have a kettle. In hotels they supply tea bags but no kettle. You can boil the water in the drip coffee machine once you have given it a good cleanse to get rid of the coffee taste. 

Football is as annoying here as it is in Australia. There I’ve said it. So UnAustralian. Mate. 

There are a LOT of religious radio stations. And country radio stations. I almost felt compelled to convert to country. But then I came to my senses. No, Keith Urban is not country. I don’t care what you say. 

They have stupid coins here. 1c (penny), 5c (nickel) 10c (dime), 25c (quarter). Notes begin at $1. Ridiculous with a capital R. The nickel is bigger than the dime. That’s nearly as silly as Australia’s $1 being bigger than the $2 coin. 

I’ve seen more of the US than I have of Australia. 

Australia and the US are pretty much the same size. 

You can live without 2 litres of (preferably sparkling) water per day, although your skin will not thank you for it.

Don’t expect a nice soft muffin at Mackas when you order an egg and bacon McMuffin thing. It comes with a grit. Essentially a hard scone. Order the sausage and egg muffin instead. 

You can always tell a foreigner because they walk on the wrong side of the path. We fitted in well, always walking on the right side. 

And lastly my travels have served to reinforce my ideals of fairness and equality for all, regardless of colour, race, gender or religious background. 

This ones for you Pete.