Today was a walking tour of Miltenberg, after a morning on the boat doing not much.

Well actually we did quite a lot, stretching with Petra, then gym for an hour, then eating – of course.

Our guide James sounded suspiciously Scottish. Which he was. Said he had arrived 14 years ago, missed his boat and stayed here. Didn’t hurt that he met the love of his life.

James told us many fascinating things about Miltenberg which naturally I shall share with you my faithful readers. Less quantity of faithful readers now that I can’t share any of my posts on Facebook – who deem my posts ‘do not follow the community standards they adhere too’. In fact, they have consistently been deleting my posts from as far back as 2018. But only since I posted from Amsterdam and had the word ‘Amsterdam’ in the title. Each day their bot finds another offensive blog post to delete. I do, of course, consistently ask them to review their decision. They do, of course, never answer.

Facebook is not in my good books right now.

Anyho, this post will probably be lots of photos and lots of facts from our 2 hour walking tour with James.

Here we go…….When you cross the street in Miltenberg in front of a car, they will wind their window down and turn their music up very loud to indicate you should stop and they have the right of way. Polite bunch.

This area is the most Catholic of all the states which means they get three extra holidays per year.

If you want to buy a home and it has a statue out front you don’t like, don’t buy the home. The facades are preserved as part of the preservation order and you must adhere to medieval standards with any renovations.

There are not many policeman here. Rumour has it – as retold by James – that nothing ever happens in the village.

They smoke. A lot. Population 9000. Cigarette vending machines, such as this….about 100.

Well THEY didn’t get the good health memo did they????

You can smoke from 16 but can’t drink until 18.

Don’t pat other people’s dogs. It’s not kosher. They will try and bite you. Found this out in real time when I tried to pat a cute little dog called Elliot.

At the age of 8, you may have joined the Monastery.

You would become an ‘apprentice’ and be taught the two most important things you needed to know. How to bake bread and how to brew beer. The monks knew how to make beer and showed everyone how to do it, including a very special ingredient. I believe we may call them magic mushrooms. This stopped in the 1300’s.

You can only get married legally at the Town Hall. Some would say named appropriately here as a Rathaus. You can still get married in a church or at a garden but it isn’t legal until you have the ceremony there. James maintained the only place he has seen where the Germans have a sense of ‘uma is in the wedding room at the Rathaus. In big bold letters on the wall it states ‘Whatever you do, choose wisely and consider the consequences’.

This little bakery has been going for 260 years. Naturally we had to sample their wares. Delicious. In those 260 years they have never purchased flour, just grain. They mill their own grain on site. A pretzel at the top of a building signifies the building is a Bakehouse. My picture doesn’t quite capture said pretzel.

Speaking of which, the pretzel was invented by the monks. The three loops signal the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

This butcher has been around for over 400 years, 1615 the place was built, with the same family still living upstairs (well clearly their ancestors) and running the butcher shop.

The Star of David was widely used and hung under the beer sign at the local bierhaus. They actually hung it up to indicate they had just made some fresh beer.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, including children, only drank wine until 1648. Medieval version of Phenergan. This was due to the poor quality of the water. They drank about 10 bottles a day. It may have only been 2% but given my lightweightedness I would have been totally sloshed from breakfast. And probably a lot easier to deal with. This only stopped after the 30 year war due to the complete devastation of the wine industry in this area. I am reckoning they were a pretty chillaxed population albeit with very bad teeth and much diabetes.

This little place is deemed to be the oldest guest house in Germany and is credited with bringing tourist to the town and actually starting the tourist industry. You could drive your horse and cart right into the building, dismount, have a wine and go straight to your comfortable room. This appealed to the classier women who didn’t quite love the mud, slush and disgusting conditions of the town. The stables catered for 100 horses, although it is unclear how many rooms there were! Napoleon Bonaparte, a pregnant Queen, (pregnant with Queen Victoria) and Elvis Presley (when he was stationed in Germany), stayed there.

This was the supplier of wine….built in 1428.

And last bit of information about this charming town. These little plagues in front of homes indicated the homes of those Jewish persons who were transported to German concentration camps. And this is the Jewish Ceremony. Which you can’t actually go into and walk around as it is a memorial.

We loved this little town. After our tour we had a wander around, finding a few special places, like the toilette. Which wasn’t hard to find. And was free to pee.

Got back to the boat in time for the afternoon cocktail and meal and then it was on to the evening’s entertainment. Which happened to be ABBA. Of course. There was a lot of dancing and a late night.

Another great day with APT.

But before I go we found a fellow Australian in the window of the local perfumery.

Now we feel completely at home.