My friend Pete had been at me to write.
‘When am I going to be able to read from MaureenBetty’, he kept asking.
I haven’t felt like writing I told him.
His response?
Well write about that.
Well I wrote a little last week and I guess I touched on this.
It’s been a big tough year.
There are no two ways about it.
It’s been a BIG tough year, a year of change.
Someone new to NZ was talking to a friend recently about change.
About how hard it was.
Implied my friend was probably going to have trouble handling the changes she was about to experience in the workplace.
This, to a woman who left South Africa 23 years ago and travelled with two small kids to an unknown country.
This, to a woman who has been through floods, fires, a 6.3 magnitude earthquake.
A terrorist attack.
Even I was offended.
I haven’t been through a huge earthquake.
But I’ve been through a bit in my life.
My one constant has always been, well constant change.
For me, those changes have usually been massive.
I’ve coped pretty well.
And yet, here I am struggling to come to terms with the last 12 months.
I have no right to complain.
I sit here in NZ, one of the best and seemingly safest countries in the world right now, with no mask, no restrictions, no real change to everyday living.
We wander around the shops, we travel around the country, we eat out at restaurants.
Life goes on like nothing is going on.
Of course we do some things differently.
Wherever we go so does our Covid App scanner, we hand sanitise, we can’t travel internationally.
And for me, therein lies the anxiety.
Two thirds of my squad I can’t get too.
Two thirds of my squad of people who love me unconditionally, who nourish my soul, who are only 3 1/2 hours away, I can’t see or hug or chat over a coffee with.
Ok, I meant wine.
For the first time since I became a mother, I didn’t see my other (4) kids on their birthdays.
Zoom or FB Messenger just doesn’t cut it.
And yet, I am one of the lucky ones.
We don’t have anyone in our immediate circle sick, we don’t even know anyone with COVID.
We are all well, we are all working.
I have no right to complain.
But.
There is no denying that this pandemic has created anxiety and stress.
On so many levels.
For so many people.
To those who are deeply affected, who have suffered enormous loss, who have lost people they love.
To those who have suffered job loss and home loss.
But also to those who have suffered loss of the life they once lived so freely.
There is grieving and pain that isn’t being recognised or acknowledged.
Perhaps not even with the people who are suffering it.
Because the people I know here, and in Australia don’t believe they have the right to grieve.
But actually, they do.
Our lives have changed forever.
And sometimes change can actually be too much.
MaureenBetty 
I loved reading this. A colleague was saying that everyone she knows is struggling in some way and she attributes it to Covid. I’ve been thinking about that. It has impacted us all, but maybe only now, some of us are just feeling it. Xxx
Sent from my iPad
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This is very true and I think because there has been a delay and we are living a sort of almost normal life we don’t attribute it to where it comes from xx
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This is so true, I think every single person is finding it hard. And because of other stressors it is really starting to show. Feeling guilty that we have it better but still find it hard is probably not helping. Living in NZ and AUS atm, is very isolating.
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Thanks! I think you are right about that
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I have been in a similar frame of mind. Why? I am not quite sure.
Maybe I had lost the enthusiasm I had for writing due to this wretched virus that took over my life.
I loved writing, I could always come up with a subject to write about.
Up to now I had nothing I wanted to write about. A sort of ‘could not care less attitude’.
Had I become a mental victim of COVID?
Not entirely sure. However my being had changed. I have not been OK.
I did not feel the same as I did prior to this pandemic.
Had a part of my inner being died? Do I now need to revaluate my life?
The answer is YES to both questions.
Right now I will dispense with that negativity, renew myself, move on.
There you go I have written this reply.
I feel much better already.
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I’m pleased that you shared that with me. I wondered what was going on with you. You have been quiet and you are a talented writer. We both need to lift our gram don’t we! My next blog will be something a little more uplifting I hope. Maybe about my travels to a little place not far from here called Akaroa. You can send me something about my town Melbourne.. What it feels like now, what the vibe is……
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My motivation is stirring.
I am coming alive after this awful COVID hibernation.
It just goes to prove what I have always believed that the written word is the most powerful weapon on our Planet.
It can inspire us to lift ourselves out of the deepest black hole and to emerge into the bright beautiful sunshine of life.
Writing is the healing of the soul, the renewal of the spirit, the road map for help, support, love and happiness.
My thanks to maureenbetty.
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Beautiful words
MaureenBetty thanks YOU ⭐️
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A poignant reflection on COVID. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and prompting me to think about how even in our “luckiness” there is an underlying sadness due to the ongoing separation from the people we love.
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Thank you for reading it Michelle 💜
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